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Branch Specific Jokes, Stories and Insults

Halfnutz

Halfnutz

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Minuteman
    • Jan 14, 2008
    1,822
    1,738
    Peoria County, Illinois
    So with as many prior service, active duty, guard/reservists, and veterans here on SH. What are your favorite branch specific jokes, stories, ribbings, insults, etc.?

    We all see and hear them, and hopefully with a light heart and a drink.

    Why does the Navy have Marines on ships?
    Cause sheep would be too obvious.

    From a book about the 1911 concerning Marine proofing a weapon...
    If you gave two Marine privates each a ball bearing and locked them in a padded room, when you came back, one ball bearing would be broke, the other missing and neither could tell you what happened.

    Shot Out...go
     
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    Redmanss said:
    Air Force is weak fags.
    Navy is fat fags.
    Army is stupid fags.
    Coast Guard is equal to the TSA under DHS, so they're left wishing they were at least fags.

    Suck it, bitches.
    Click to expand...
    Did somebody put a crayon wrapper on your stylus?

    eta: TSA has higher funding priority than the USCG, I'm pretty sure that the Salvation Army has higher funding priority than the USCG.
     
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    1595194790724.png
     
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    eta: TSA has higher funding priority than the USCG, I'm pretty sure that the Salvation Army has higher funding priority than the USCG.

    Coasties at least pluck people outta the water, sink narco subs, and have deck mounted firearms. TSA took my cigar cutter and allowed me to return my p38 can opener to my car, then looked at my dick via a scanner.
     
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    Four service recruits on training are using an old porcelain latrine. The Airman and and Seaman are washing their hands.
    Airman: We were taught to scrub for 20 seconds and rinse...
    Seaman: We just rinse off to save water at sea... They watch horrified as the Marine wipes his hands on his fatigues and walks out.
    As they're leaving the Private just strolls by. They ask "You didn't wash your hands?"
    "Nope, the Army taught us not to piss on our hands..."
     
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    Army - Be all you can be
    Navy - Its an adventure
    Marines - Looking for a few good men
    Air Force - Only the smartest need apply
     
    Over the course of history, how did the Army end up with mules, and how did the Navy end up with Marines?
    .......

    The Army had first choice.
     
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    A pilot was approaching an airport that served a variety of aviation services. He contacted the tower and asked for the time. The controller replied, “4235 Bravo, that depends: Are you a General, Airline, Navy, or Marine aircraft?” Bewildered, the pilot asked, “4235 Bravo - what the heck does that have to do with it??” The controller responded, “4235 Bravo be advised: If you are General Aviation, the time is 1330 Local. If you’re with the Airlines, it’s 1830 Zulu. If you’re a Navy aircraft, the time is “Three Bells,” and if you’re a Marine aircraft.....the little hand is on the one, and the big hand is on the six.”
     
    Last edited:
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    FANGS (Freakin' Air National Guard)

    Know the difference between the guard and boy scouts? Scouts have adult leadership.
     
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