Weapons on airplanes

[eflyguy]

We have our own shitter up front - or upstairs on the 747.

 

[Maser]

Don't fly Spirit and you don't need prison yard tools

Here I'm a 1K Premier flyer and my biggest worry is regarding my iPad charge and which headphones are the most comfortable

What are you all doing at the back of the bus ?

Big talk coming from someone who flies around on a magic carpet.

 

[lariat]

I just gotta straddle the seat. Kind of like taking a dump on the other side of the world.
Although, it does help to take one leg out of your pants. It keeps you from shitting on your skivvies.

I hate those toilets, especially on international flights from parts unknown. You know exactly how that bathroom is going to fare when the stewardess walks down the aisle spraying cans of deodorizer after whatever country’s finest and most “educated” is seated. It’s a literal shit show. And your stuff gets stolen when you go to take a piss. 12+ hours of misery. Even first class looks like someone dumped garbage everywhere.

 

[Srgt. Hulka]

Trying to light the fuse for the counterfeit PE shoved up our ass and dig the fecal matter out of the trigger of our Glock, while some german dude is vigorously beating his meat with a flesh lite.

Then some ass hole molly whopped us with a sock full of batteries.

 

[akmike47]

 

[tadawson]

Bad experiences using the anal cavity, long story short. PE shaped like a dildo which wasn't that bad, when the fuse was lit I got a nasty burn on the anus from the fuse . Turns out the dude sold me Play Dough, and now I'm on the no fly list.

 

[slowworm]

Only weapon I take on a plane is the big one in my pants, but my wife makes sure its fully unloaded before I leave the house.

Does she put a trigger lock on it as well?

 

[akmike47]

Does she put a trigger lock on it as well?

It’s called a chastity cage

 

[Numedal]

It’s called a chastity cage

Hopefully not one of those "Cable down the barrel" type locks...

 

[Jscb1b]

Perfectly legal….

And it doubles as a bat

View attachment 7855188

Wrong color.

 

[akmike47]

Wrong color.

That's because you haven't used it yet, it'll stain darker

 

[Jscb1b]

What's 12 inches and white? Nothing.

 

[TXAZ]

You just need to use the secret TSA access code. If you can keep this low key, just say the name of DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas’girlfriend while traversing security:
“Anna Aire-Hobby”
Guaranteed fast efficient treatment with security and you won’t have to carry.

 

[roostercogburn98]

So I’m the only one who carries snakes on a plane?

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Just saying

Inmate who smuggled gun in her vagina sentenced to 10 years in prison

A Missouri woman who smuggled a gun into a county jail by hiding it in her vagina was sentenced to a decade behind bars, a report said. Amy Wilhite, 39, had pleaded guilty to sneaking the 4-inch re…

nypost.com

 

[theLBC]

i smuggled a vagina on a plane as a weapon against suicidal incels.

 

[Jscb1b]

i smuggled a vagina on a plane as a weapon against suicidal incels.

If she has high heels so much better. A stiletto to the head would HURT!

 

[JJMoody]

View attachment 7855364

I’ve been laughing at this harder than I should be for an hour…

 

[akmike47]

I’ve been laughing at this harder than I should be for an hour…

I'm good at finding weird shit, or making weird shit

 

[Im2bent]

Just saying

Inmate who smuggled gun in her vagina sentenced to 10 years in prison

A Missouri woman who smuggled a gun into a county jail by hiding it in her vagina was sentenced to a decade behind bars, a report said. Amy Wilhite, 39, had pleaded guilty to sneaking the 4-inch re…

nypost.com

And here I thought tuna gun meant a speargun......

 

[TxWelder35]

So you gonna come back to this shit show you started or just hide in the back of the airplane with your sock batteries?

@Boxkicker

 

[akmike47]

So you gonna come back to this shit show you started or just hide in the back of the airplane with your sock batteries?

@Boxkicker
View attachment 7855738

Terry's got him

 

[Im2bent]

I'm wondering why limit yourself to 2 C cells why not one of these bad boys?

 

[Oldloser]

Jesus you guys are a riot.

Laptop charger has a four foot cord. At the end of it is a two pound weight. Smash and then garrot.

 

[akmike47]

Jesus you guys are a riot.

Laptop charger has a four foot cord. At the end of it is a two pound weight. Smash and then garrot.

I'd take off my thong and choke someone out to save a flight

 

[rlsmith1]

Is that why tactical kilts are a thing? They must be wearing qd thongs too

 

[Im2bent]

Jesus you guys are a riot.

Laptop charger has a four foot cord. At the end of it is a two pound weight. Smash and then garrot.

You bring up an interesting point. What kind of socks? If it's those ankle socks you have no reach. Old school knee high socks are probably no longer available. What about lederhosen you could do some damage with those straps.

 

[Boxkicker]

So you gonna come back to this shit show you started or just hide in the back of the airplane with your sock batteries?

@Boxkicker
View attachment 7855738

Hey don’t even try to put that on me. I threw a thought out there and while there were a couple of normal answers, it seems a large portion of this websites residents are into butt stuff. Not even normal but stuff either just weird shit. The other half seem to believe government is interested in them personally which it probably is I can neither confirm nor deny, but I mean continuously saying it out loud it’s just kind of odd.

 

[akmike47]

Hey don’t even try to put that on me. I threw a thought out there and while there were a couple of normal answers, it seems a large portion of this websites residents are into butt stuff. Not even normal but stuff either just weird shit. The other half seem to believe government is interested in them personally which it probably is I can neither confirm nor deny, but I mean continuously saying it out loud it’s just kind of odd.

What? You said this was your bathroom.

 

[Boxkicker]

What? You said this was your bathroom.
View attachment 7855766

Doesn’t sound like something I’d say. Interesting that you had that picture readily available though.

 

[akmike47]

Doesn’t sound like something I’d say. Interesting that you had that picture readily available though.

Don't be shy, this is a judgment free zone. You don't have to lie.

 

[n2ishun]

Doesn’t sound like something I’d say. Interesting that you had that picture readily available though and while it does excite me, those implements seem quite a bit smaller than my usual fare.

TMI bro.
Oh, and congratulations, your first quote rape.
How nice.

BTW, some helpful tips you might be interested in.

Here's how to use a large dildo safely

An expert explains the risks (and joys) you should consider.

www.netdoctor.co.uk

 

[brian1]

Just saying

Inmate who smuggled gun in her vagina sentenced to 10 years in prison

A Missouri woman who smuggled a gun into a county jail by hiding it in her vagina was sentenced to a decade behind bars, a report said. Amy Wilhite, 39, had pleaded guilty to sneaking the 4-inch re…

nypost.com

well, at least it's not a 1911

 

[BJames]

Or a python

 

[EddieNFL]

Odd. Every "polymer" pistol I own has steel slides, barrels, trigger groups, and magazines. The ammo I load them with is brass or steel, and lead.

Dude! Do you even "Die Hard?"

 

[EddieNFL]

Doesn’t sound like something I’d say. Interesting that you had that picture readily available though.

Kudos to the OP. He is fast with an edit. Probably choked on whatever was in his mouth when he realized what he actually typed.

 

[BLEE]

A fucking pencil.