The Joys of Being a Mechanic

vh20

Gunny Sergeant
Belligerents
Dec 2, 2012
2,521
1,708
219
55
Well whoever can design a truck that can’t be butchered into that retarded “I could only afford half of my lift kit” “Carolina squat” look will get my respect. It makes it look like a cow just back from the bull. Idiots around here are fascinated with a 1500 Chevy with a squat, low profile 33’s, muffler deletes, and stock cams. Sounds like shit and you have to hear it sound like shit for like 4 minutes while it struggles to get to 60.
It is definitely an "ethnic" look, for sure. Just like the first time I saw someone with their pants around their knees, I thought it couldn't be on purpose - something must be "wrong." But no, that's what they think looks cool. Stupid. A squatting truck looks weak/broken.
 

jphil108

Private
Belligerents
Jul 21, 2010
218
347
69
If Fayettenam Fuckwit is an ethnicity maybe that’s it. Down here it mainly seems to be dirty white kids with chinstrap “beards”, flatbilled hats out on backwards and affliction shirts covering up what I’m sure are track marks and a sccy 9mm or hi-point. Always Florida Georgia line or fuckelback playing loud and a “Saltlife” sticker on the back glass.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: wh20crazy

BytorJr

Major Hide Member
Belligerents
Minuteman
Nov 28, 2018
1,126
960
119
idk. the two i’ve owned (3 if you count my son’s car) get just under 30 mpg and if you get on it, have almost as much go as the 98 mustang gt i had. and with a good set of snow tires, they’ll shock you with what they’ll go through. it’s a hard car to beat. i’ve heard them refered to as “the banker’s cadillac”.
Ahhh, the LeSabre....LOL. Mom's last one (probably about a 98 model) had leather seats and let me tell you - cornering speeds couldn't be too high because you'd slide across that big bench. The steering was as numb as could be as well. When she passed, I think my father got like 3300 bucks out of it (50K miles). Had I known he was selling it that would have been my beater!!!

You're correct on petrol consumption as well - not shabby considering a 90's car conceived in late 80s and engine before that even.

One thing I will give American cars....still have best HVAC!!
 

EddieNFL

SMSgt
Belligerents
Jan 11, 2006
5,633
5,141
219
Florida
Well whoever can design a truck that can’t be butchered into that retarded “I could only afford half of my lift kit” “Carolina squat” look will get my respect. It makes it look like a cow just back from the bull. Idiots around here are fascinated with a 1500 Chevy with a squat, low profile 33’s, muffler deletes, and stock cams. Sounds like shit and you have to hear it sound like shit for like 4 minutes while it struggles to get to 60.
Why not just buy a couple of decals that read, "Um A Redneck" and bank the cash you save?
 

Mike Casselton

Trunk Monkey
Belligerents
Nov 25, 2007
4,791
6,731
219
Lithia, FL
The problem is people got sold on solutions to problems that don’t exist, COO of the last company bought a brand new 2017 f 150 short bed platinum with every damn gadget a guy could purchase including an automatic tailgate and lid; he also swore on his mother’s grave that the 5.0 liter in it was the exact same as the boss 302 from the 69 mach 1. ( so stupid and cross fucked you can’t make this shit up)asked me what I thought of his truck and then got mad when I said I didn’t see a truck, I saw an SUV with external storage, he then proceeded to tell me that my 1999 7.3 6spd 8’ bed f250 was obsolete. I agreed and said it will still be obsolete in another 15 years when I sell it with another 250,000 on it. One of us had a good laugh a week later when he needed to borrow the shop truck (2005 2500 6.0) to get home because his cam phaser had shit the bed and his truck was in the shop. Old shit worked fine, the emissions were in need of some refinement but the car companies have gotten greedy, so how do you sell an $80,000 pick-up? Add back up cameras and satellite radio with your cooled seats, I’ll keep my vinyl seats and floor, crank windows, manual transmission, no AC, and my cassette player.
You had me until the vinyl seat and no AC thing.
Not a chance down here in the salt, sweat and humidity.
 

Mike Casselton

Trunk Monkey
Belligerents
Nov 25, 2007
4,791
6,731
219
Lithia, FL
Average European car is 10.8y old .
US market if of course much different most popular car being F150 vs Europe where it a VW Golf or something similar.
The Euro car for US is generally a generation old design that was already phased out of Europe tells you something .
All the fancy new smallish engines below 4L that are appearing in new US cars and trucks are in many cases old euro machines.

End of the day most US manufacturers simply fell behind the curve and are totally uncompetitive outside the home market, uncompetitivness breed by the complacency that the domestic market is enough, many are now owned by Euro manufacturers or are incorporated with them. Ford is one of the few that has a sizable euro Bussines and can draw from tech developed for euro markets.

Euro van, truck and bus diesel engines are particularly likely to migrate to US manufacturing as they have conformed to emissions standards closer to EPA standards, where NOx is more penalized than C02. ,than the engines in euro cars where CO2 is more regulated than NOx.

Will see if Tesla gets to be a player, so far its mostly a financial scheme and something like 5% market share after a decade on the market, with very low quality cars and it does look like most manufacturers will catch up with them before they sort their shit out.
Just so you understand.
The term "car" is wholly overused by Europeons to describe every vehicle.

There is a huge difference in a car and an actual truck.

Even though FoMoCo has turned the F-150 into an expensive luxury vehicle, make no mistake. It's a truck, not a car.

Cars are cars.

Most small and mid sized SUVs are cars.

All of the full size ones are still trucks.

All of the full sized trucks are actual trucks, not cars.

Then we get to vans, and that is a whole nuther conversation.

When in doubt, use the term vehicle...
 
  • Love
Reactions: Sean the Nailer

Mike Casselton

Trunk Monkey
Belligerents
Nov 25, 2007
4,791
6,731
219
Lithia, FL
If Fayettenam Fuckwit is an ethnicity maybe that’s it. Down here it mainly seems to be dirty white kids with chinstrap “beards”, flatbilled hats out on backwards and affliction shirts covering up what I’m sure are track marks and a sccy 9mm or hi-point. Always Florida Georgia line or fuckelback playing loud and a “Saltlife” sticker on the back glass.
You're not from Grady Judd territory are you?
Some of that truck nonsense bleeds a few miles west into my county.
 

jphil108

Private
Belligerents
Jul 21, 2010
218
347
69
You had me until the vinyl seat and no AC thing.
Not a chance down here in the salt, sweat and humidity.
Admittedly, it’s not my daily anymore, but it was for a solid five years until I needed a vehicle that my vendors wouldn’t bitch about riding in during the summer. The vinyl seats aren’t so bad, you kinda get used to peeling yourself out of them for 5-6 months a year, granted this is S.C. NC HOT, not gulf coast hot, but I used to spend a lot of time on the coast with it and never had an issue, I always carried a spare dry shirt. i like the simplicity of spraying the inside of the cab down with simple green and hosing it out once a year. AC would be ok, it’s probably the only concession I’ll make to the modern world when I buy my next 20 year old truck ten years from now. I’ve never been huge on creature comforts unless it’s good thick socks and good insoles for work boots we’re talking about, that’s my kinda luxury.

You're not from Grady Judd territory are you?
Some of that truck nonsense bleeds a few miles west into my county.
Nah, but that mess seems to be concentrated along I-95 in the Carolinas, Polk county isn’t too far away from that same “mud vein”. The salt life stickers are the funniest part, that brand is based out of Greenville SC, practically the mountains. Every summer growing up in Wilmington you’d see herds of those trucks hit Carolina beach, my buddy and I used to love towing them out for five bucks with a rusty CJ-7.
 
  • Like
Reactions: wh20crazy

GBMaryland

Sergeant
Belligerents
Feb 24, 2008
1,378
1,276
219
Maryland, US
So,
I work as a mechanic for a "local" (40 mile commute) dealership/workshop.
Over the last few days I have had the engine and transmission out of an Opel Insignia (pretty much same as the current Malibu) and had the engine stripped to re-pack the crank case that was leaking, as well as have the transmission apart to hunt for an issue in there.

After many hours of trying to get this done with constant interruptions, finally got it back together and running today. Started fine, ran nicely, no leaks, no warning lights or noises, great!

Since I live about 40 miles away, I sometimes take cars that we want to give a good "shakedown" home for the night. Today was one such day.

Was running fine until about 3 miles from home, when it coughed a couple of times, started making an unpleasant whirring noise, lit up the dash like a Christmas tree and went to limp-home mode. Fuck.

Limped home, popped the hood, oil all over the top of the transmission and back of the engine. More fuck.

Can see the fuel line in to the high pressure pump (direct injected gas engine, 2.0 EcoTec) and the pump itself shaking violently, look closer, pump is no longer actually attached to the head. Triple fuck.

After letting the engine cool enough to actually touch things, dug out what little tools I have laying around small enough and tried getting at the pump to see WTF. Found somehow both mounting bolts have sheared clean off, so the pump was only contained by the shield/cover around it.

How these two 10.9 grade bolts have sheared is a complete mystery to me (new bolts, torqued to manufacturer's specs), I only know for now that the car was just collected on a flat bed and I have no real way to get to work tomorrow...

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion this car just doesn't want to cooperate...

Ah, the joys of being a mechanic...

/rant
counterfeit bolts
 
  • Sad
Reactions: Sean the Nailer

Mr.BR

Private
Belligerents
Oct 5, 2017
1,302
1,431
119
T34 tank engine is also bulletproof but burns almost as much oil as diesel.
Just so you understand.
The term "car" is wholly overused by Europeons to describe every vehicle.

There is a huge difference in a car and an actual truck.

Even though FoMoCo has turned the F-150 into an expensive luxury vehicle, make no mistake. It's a truck, not a car.

Cars are cars.

Most small and mid sized SUVs are cars.

All of the full size ones are still trucks.

All of the full sized trucks are actual trucks, not cars.

Then we get to vans, and that is a whole nuther conversation.

When in doubt, use the term vehicle...
For us Euros car is everything under 3.5 tons registered weight and trucks are above 3.5Ton
 

jbell

Gunny Sergeant
Belligerents
Jan 16, 2010
4,793
1,363
219
42
Lewiston, ME
I have been a ”professional“ mechanic since I left the Corps in 2000. I worked for a Caterpillar dealership for almost 16 years in the truck engine shop. Being in Maine I worked on mostly logging truck, you will see all kinds of “repairs to get you out of the woods” in that line of work. I am now the diesel mechanic at a very high end boat yard where we specialize in 30’-65’ Yachts and high end sail boats. Most of the boats are built in either Asia or worse Turkey, I have stories...
 
  • Love
Reactions: Bender

EddieNFL

SMSgt
Belligerents
Jan 11, 2006
5,633
5,141
219
Florida
I have been a ”professional“ mechanic since I left the Corps in 2000. I worked for a Caterpillar dealership for almost 16 years in the truck engine shop. Being in Maine I worked on mostly logging truck, you will see all kinds of “repairs to get you out of the woods” in that line of work. I am now the diesel mechanic at a very high end boat yard where we specialize in 30’-65’ Yachts and high end sail boats. Most of the boats are built in either Asia or worse Turkey, I have stories...

And like all marine techs, I'll bet you have a drawer full of interestingly shaped wrenches designed with grinders and torches.
 

Bender

Known Troll
Belligerents
Feb 12, 2014
6,818
14,181
219
Cheyenne WY.
I have been a ”professional“ mechanic since I left the Corps in 2000. I worked for a Caterpillar dealership for almost 16 years in the truck engine shop. Being in Maine I worked on mostly logging truck, you will see all kinds of “repairs to get you out of the woods” in that line of work. I am now the diesel mechanic at a very high end boat yard where we specialize in 30’-65’ Yachts and high end sail boats. Most of the boats are built in either Asia or worse Turkey, I have stories...
I’m a closet boat whore. I would loooove a twin diesel sport fisher. But a nice one costs 3 times as much as my house. Viking would probably be my favorite.
 

Mooseknuckles

Private
Belligerents
Jan 11, 2014
846
2,793
99
I worked on garbage truck for 14 years. Seen about everything and some stuff I really didn’t care to see. Nothing like having to repair a trucks suspension that has a hole in the floor and having garbage juice and maggots dripping on you while you do it. Now I’m a Mobil mechanic for the state. Little bit cleaner jig 😂
 

Mudburner

Private
Minuteman
Apr 4, 2019
24
21
6
I'm a mechanic (not a very good one, IMO) and I hate working on automotive stuff. I pay people like you to do that shit. I've always said, "Hire the experts", people who do something all day everyday for a living and have all the right tools and the place to do it.

When I was a young man I made the decision to join the Army and work on UH-60 Blackhawk helicopters. 35 years and an A&P later I still get recruiters emailing me almost weekly trying to find people to fix aircraft.

As a defense contractor in Iraq & Afghanistan, we had absolutely the best situation possible. Since aircraft had priority, our supply system was fully stocked with everything parts and supplies you could imagine. And medevac had highest priority of all.

We also had some really superb and sharp supply guys. One guy, you'd tell him you needed x component, and he'd put it in your hand 30 minutes later. He had a conex of stash... Everything up to and including new helicopter engines...

Since our customer was the USArmy, and many of us were prior military, we felt obligated to provide the absolute best product possible.

And the unit commanders particularly wanted the best readiness rate they could get, so we almost always put brand new stuff on, even when items like tires would be still within wear limits... Always new hardware.

The AO sucked balls, but Bagram, Kabul and Kandahar were like vacation resorts compared to the FOBs & COPs.

One guy I worked with actually married a Kyrgyz woman (she actually turned out to be a good wife, probably gave him 6 kids by now) so even tho we lived in B-huts, it was pretty easy living. Good times.
 

EddieNFL

SMSgt
Belligerents
Jan 11, 2006
5,633
5,141
219
Florida
I worked on garbage truck for 14 years. Seen about everything and some stuff I really didn’t care to see. Nothing like having to repair a trucks suspension that has a hole in the floor and having garbage juice and maggots dripping on you while you do it. Now I’m a Mobil mechanic for the state. Little bit cleaner jig 😂
Local Waste Management was a customer before I retired. Packer blade cylinder replacement was a fairly common job. Required getting inside the body. I had to keep a list of who did the last truck to prevent fights. We provided disposal coveralls, masks and rubber boots.
 

GBMaryland

Sergeant
Belligerents
Feb 24, 2008
1,378
1,276
219
Maryland, US
OK you guys remind me of a story… Tangentially related:

Long time ago I worked with a guy named Peter. Peter was one of those salesey kinda guys who was always looking for someway to make a buck.

One day he told me about the time when he owned an ice cream factory in a suburb of New York City. Now this really surprised me because I knew Peter as A straight sale.

He proceeded to tell me that the ownership of the ice cream factory tended be a pain in the ass during the summer months, because the garbage and all the sugar in the garbage would make the dumpsters smell smell like absolute crap as it rotted.

One day he’s looking at this mess behind the factory and realizes that he really needs is for the trash hauler to come and pick up the trash more than one day a week.

Peter reads the name and number from the garbage dumpster and then calls the number.

(remember this entire conversation happens with the guy on the other end having a very thick New York City accent.)

”Hallo?”

” yes this is Peter from the ice cream factory,” “ i’d like to talk to you about coming and picking up the garbage more than one time a week because of smell behind the factory is just awful.”

” listen bud, we pick up the garbage that location once a week, that’s it.”

” Surly I can just pay you some more and we can get someone out there?“

“Listen mac, we come out there once a week and that’s all we do you’re just gonna have to live with the smell.”

The conversation is and Peter is somewhat confused and still doesn’t have a solution to his problem.

Peter goes back outside and notices that on the other side the company on the other side has a different trash Company. so he decides to call that number…

Peter calls the other number for the other trash company:

“Hallo?”

”Yes, I’d like to...”

” Peter! look, I told you already that we don’t pick up more than once a week at that location.”

Peter had in fact called what was supposed to be a different company and a different telephone number and got the same guy.

Peter starts thinking about his problem and realizes that maybe he’s going about this all wrong… If he got a permit haul his own trash then he could get another dumpster, put it behind the factory, and then he could take the second load a weekly trash himself to the dump.

To do this Peter has to go to new York city Hall and apply for trash hauling permit.

so Peter head to City Hall and goes up to the floor where the sanitation department is…

When he gets to the door for the office he knocks and then opens the door:

The room is huge, but the odd thing is that there’s a big desk in the middle of the room and four guys standing around the desk, and there are a bunch of telephones on the desk.

“ perhaps you guys can help me I’m looking to apply for a permit to haul my own trash once a week.”

One guy looks up and says “Peter, peter, peeter... I told you we only come once a week to your location.”

Apparently back in the 70s the Mob completely owned the trash business in NYC.

The four wiseguys made a decision not to make Peter‘s life too much more difficult and agree that they send a truck out for a much higher fee to come and get the trash and extra day every week.

when someone tells you the story and they use actual New York accent it’s pretty damn funny...
 

jbell

Gunny Sergeant
Belligerents
Jan 16, 2010
4,793
1,363
219
42
Lewiston, ME
I worked on garbage truck for 14 years. Seen about everything and some stuff I really didn’t care to see. Nothing like having to repair a trucks suspension that has a hole in the floor and having garbage juice and maggots dripping on you while you do it. Now I’m a Mobil mechanic for the state. Little bit cleaner jig 😂
I had a Crane Carrier Company cab over trash packer get towed in one day while I was at Cat for a “it just shut off and will not re-start” complaint. It was completely full of trash and it was summer. The reason it shut down and would not start was a broken rod locked the engine up. It took the city that the truck was from 2 weeks to ok a repair. I was removing the rear engine mounts (laying under them) when some foul ass water went all over my face. Apparently I must have gotten some in my mouth. I have never been that sick in my life. I literally shit out something that looked like mold at one point. Trash packers are the worst! I’ll take a pusher bus, shit truck, or a boat any day of the week and twice on sundays over a trash packer...
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Mooseknuckles

Mooseknuckles

Private
Belligerents
Jan 11, 2014
846
2,793
99
I had a Crane Carrier Company cab over trash packer get towed in one day while I was at Cat for a “it just shut off and will not re-start” complaint. It was completely full of trash and it was summer. The reason it shut down and would not start was a broken rod locked the engine up. It took the city that the truck was from 2 weeks to ok a repair. I was removing the rear engine mounts (laying under them) when some foul ass water went all over my face. Apparently I must have gotten some in my mouth. I have never been that sick in my life. I literally shit out something that looked like mold at one point. Trash packers are the worst! I’ll take a pusher bus, shit truck, or a boat any day of the week and twice on sundays over a trash packer...
Haha!! Yep been there done that. It’s really bad when you come in the next day and it sound like you are walking in rice crispy. Then you turn the shop light on and the floor is moving.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jbell