do You Spank Your Kids

[Casey Simpson]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Killer Spade 13</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Don't know, I'm too stupid.
Belong to MENSA. IQ of 173.
Made 1468 on my SAT.
Was second in my flight school class.
Have a BBA and MBA from Georgia Tech along with a BFA from the University of Georgia.
ASQ Certified Quality Manager and Engineer.
Was the Southern Regional Manager for the L.S. Starrett Corporation. (I can read a mic)

Hmmmm. Really? If she hadn't made you live in fear, and thus otherwise mentally pre-occupied, you would have achieved more, perhaps discovered the cure for AIDS or Cancer?

My Momma wore my ass out at least twice a week. With privet switches and a little red plastic belt.</div></div>

If she had not caused you the mental destruction of fearing weekly physical pain you might have discovered the cure for AIDS and Cancer?

 

[X-fan]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Switchblade</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Spanking works for little kids, ie under five. From five to seven, hands on the wall, feet three feet apart three feet from the wall works well as a time out( five to fifteen minutes per infraction). Makes leg, arm, and back muscles strong. After seven, pushj-ups, bends and motherfuckers, jumping jacks, mountain climbers and such work well until about 13 - 15. After that, the behave pretty well. IF however, a fifteen year old decides to square off with dad, well some things just aren't spoken about these days. Needless to say, it hasn't happend since, and the words,"Consider my size, and experience when you raise your fists toward me boy" were used most sternly. The look seemed to go from a fierce anger to one of true understanding rather quickly. A call from No1 to No2 was also made and some explanation about something about knocking glasses askew and stuff from ten years or so back were mentioned...yes, we all learn as Dad's. Some things just aren't good for anyone. but by the end of that particular brotherly conversation, respect was found in the eyes of one fifteen year old boy that evening.
Since No1 has left, we find that positive reinforcement works most of the time, and pretty well. Those other times, well,"Consider my size and expereince boy. You really want to man up and go there?" Still works, and when quietly spoken holds a certain impact. Hope I don't get an ass whoopin in tgeh next few years wehn the little fucker is bigger than me

</div></div>

I squared off with my Dad when I was 15...Big mistake!

Dad never hurt me, but he was smart and took me down lightning quick then got squarely in my face and asked if I wanted to continue? I still remember the quickness sureness of his actions...He never left room for any doubt...Which is probably the right way to play that card...If you have to.

Dad let me up, told me he loved me, and asked me never to disrespect our relationship to that level again.

I never did!

 

[Switchblade]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Quickness, sureness, and precision made movements that look easy and seamless make their little heads spin. The deep look into those fifteen year old eyes from three inches though, that is where the true impact lies. It holds a certain power for a kid when he realizes he just pissed off the alpha male and family patriarch. I was lucky. I never went there because Pop and I were major gearheads and were always out in the garage. X-Boxes, Computers, different times and social venues have changed kids a bit. I have never desired to face down any of my boys. I wish I had a little more self control back in the day, but in the end it all came out good. No1 is a solid citizen, knows his stuff, and works his ass off to make his fortune. No 2 and 3, they are smart as whips, tops of their classes, and headed for pure success. I'm good now. No2, he knows his limits and respects them. he also shares his father's heat of temper when pushed. I am sure he has a lot more control than I, and he will do better as a father with it. Hopefully I have taught him all he needs to know in that department, but I truly hope it will be me he comes to when he needs that advice down the road as all father's do.
The fact that many here share the same values speaks to a certain way of doing business and of being raised. Our kids will be fine, just as we were fine. It will continue because we hold something the ghetto dwellers and trailer trash do not. It is family values, and moral strength of character to do the right thing no matter what. It what makes US great. That, positive reinforcement, a little strength and endurance training, and the occasional hard look.

 

[Yeticowboy]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Usually all my boy needs is that stern look over the top of my eyeglasses. When he sees that he knows he's fuckin up and needs to reverse course. Been awhile since he's had a spanking. But he did get 3rd place overall in his math and science competition yesterday. Very proud of him.

I was spanked A LOT as a kid. Got my ass kicked quite a bit. (funnily enough now I like to be spanked, go figure) Grew up working on a farm. When I was 15 and wanted a car, my dad said alright build one. That's exactly what I did. Drug a heap from the junkyard home and rebuilt it. Ever since then I've been able to work on all of my own cars. My dad was hard on me but in the end it made me able to deal with hard times much easier than most. Self reliance and discipline are two things that seem to be in short supply with most people these days. I thank my father and my grandfather for teaching me those things. My little brother graduated college and is the head IT guy for his district of TXDOT. I graduated college too. (hard to believe) Right now I'm a correctional officer looking to transition over to a career as a peace officer. Niether one of us has ever been arrested, done drugs, or been in any kind of trouble. Guess my folks did something right.

 

[buds444]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I got spanked very rarely, but my dad had the most impacting technique I ever have experienced. My mom would spank me with hand or whatever. Not hard. And very rare. My dad would put his hand over my butt, and would slap his hand. No contact was ever made, no pain was experienced, but man would I cry like a baby. I turned out just fine. I'll probably do what my dad did, as rare as I can manage. Every "spank" was followed with a hug and a lesson to not do whatever it was I had done. Yeah I remember the spanks more than the hug and lesson, but I never forgot they followed. Worked for me.

 

[Seth8541]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Casey Simpson</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Inflicting pain on another by physical force is violence.

Violence is wrong.

Parent's egos tells us its discipline.

Many are confused; the bible also says to kill the son who curses his Father, but also to "...not provoke your children, nor nag".

Jesus preached non-violence.

I've been and public defender, juvenile delinquent defender, and have represented numerous parties in custody cases. Also, I'm one of eight children and have a 15 year old daughter. My experience has been corporal punishment does not work. Instead, cop oral punishment aggravates the already chaotic situation. Corporal punishment teaches violence - that we should try using violence to get cooperation, and although it doesn't work, corporal punishment is indeed acceptable conduct.

Whether positive or negative, love, hate or indifference, w receive the same energy as we project. Achieving cooperation by praise and love is more intelligent than pretended cooperation achieved by force or fear. Fear-based discipline works only while the punisher is present. Anger is an emotion resulting from feelings of not being loved. Lying is learned. It is learned from those who are modeling behavior; parents, teachers - adults.

</div></div>

It also says in Proverbs "to spare the rod is to spoil the child". Thier is no better instruction for parents and thier children then Proverbs.

I spank my kids. It works well on my oldest, but not so much on my youngest. Different children require dicipline methods. Spanking may be the only thing that works on a certain child, and if you rules spankings out completely, then you'll have to deal with the issues tour child may have. You ate responsible for raising your child rightly. It is up to you to find out which method is required. Verbal abuse is NEVER acceptible. My gather and mother spanked me regularly, and I needed every one of them. To this day my father is my best friend. I was deer hunting with him back in the Santa Barbara mountains when i was 4 years old. Where he went, so did I. I never backed talked him once. Most of tje spankings I got was for back talking my mother, and giving her hell when my dad was out of town working. If my fafish ther diciplined me without spankings, I'd would have been in extremly poor shape today.

Keep your kids busy. Idle hands are thr devils playground. I was kept so busy growing up with baseball that I didn't have Amy time to het into trouble. Didn't drink or do drugs, and no criminal record to this day. Not only do me and my dad, hunt, shoot, reload, and fish together, I also work for him. We work out of town and my trailer is parked right next to his.

The problem with todays kids is thier parents are so busy chasing down thier careers, that they leave thier children at daycare, or in front of the PS3 as opposed to raising thier children. If the babysitter is the one raising and diciplining your children then you deserve exactly what you get, but the children don't. They deserve thier parents attention and yes thier parents dicipline also.

 

[robescc]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I have no issue with spanking when it is called for. I had many growing up and give my 4y/o daughter one or two when she needs it. Now just the threat of a spanking works better than actually doing it.
With that said, it pisses me off when you see kids running their parents. I want to go up to them and say "I know you don't have the guts to do it so I would be willing to do it for you."

 

[fattycakes]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I spanked my daughter once when she was 2. I didn't have the heart to put any force into it and she sort of looked at me like i was crazy. I don't spank, I find a harsh word or two works just fine and if I need to yell I do that. But usually I just try and explain to her what she did wrong and why she shouldn't do it again. She is almost 4 now.

 

[Jdubya45]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: roggom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I looked up a similar study, seems like the sample group did not come from a large enough demographic to establish a proper correlation.

I tell you this, I was spanked with the belt and I kept my self in check. I spanked my children with my hand (a mentor later shared that you can feel how hard you are spanking and wont just be venting).

My oldest are 17 and 21, their pants are around their waist, they say "yes sir", no Ma'am, and conduct themselves as good American young adults should. Now laziness may be something altogether different. Maybe I knocked the energy right out of them... </div></div>

DITTO, you do not have to neat the shit out of them, just make the connection between doing wrong and taking the punishment.

 

[Tigerbikes]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I have six kids. Some need physical discipline (particularly the boys), some do not.

Children need to know right from wrong and when to listen. It has been my experience that with some kids, you need to be physical, at times, to get this across.

 

[OdellJym]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Father of 3. I spank, but never when angry. My kids are God loving, straight A students who love their Mommy and Daddy and respect their elders. They are responsible stewards of wildlife, patriots and servants of the community. Am I proud? Damn straight, I am. Was spanking bad for them? Only as bad as oxygen was....

 

[CritterZero]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Spare the rod, Hate the Child!

Time out when time out is required, privlidge restriction when that is required, and yes... spanking when that is what is needed! My 3 kiddos are well mannered, and A+ studendts. They are led by a loving mother and father, and earn money instead of get an allowance. They are my pride and joy.... but i will discipline them if they are too far out of line.

 

[spiralseal]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tigerbikes</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have six kids. Some need physical discipline (particularly the boys), some do not.

Children need to know right from wrong and when to listen. It has been my experience that with some kids, you need to be physical, at times, to get this across. </div></div>


Correct, spare the rod, spoil the child...but there is always a line, and something I never do angry....

 

[anthony_se]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

HEHE, Only when I wanted to feel better

 

[EventHorizon]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seth8541</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Casey Simpson</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Inflicting pain on another by physical force is violence.

Violence is wrong.

Parent's egos tells us its discipline.

Many are confused; the bible also says to kill the son who curses his Father, but also to "...not provoke your children, nor nag".

Jesus preached non-violence.

I've been and public defender, juvenile delinquent defender, and have represented numerous parties in custody cases. Also, I'm one of eight children and have a 15 year old daughter. My experience has been corporal punishment does not work. Instead, cop oral punishment aggravates the already chaotic situation. Corporal punishment teaches violence - that we should try using violence to get cooperation, and although it doesn't work, corporal punishment is indeed acceptable conduct.

Whether positive or negative, love, hate or indifference, w receive the same energy as we project. Achieving cooperation by praise and love is more intelligent than pretended cooperation achieved by force or fear. Fear-based discipline works only while the punisher is present. Anger is an emotion resulting from feelings of not being loved. Lying is learned. It is learned from those who are modeling behavior; parents, teachers - adults.

</div></div>

It also says in Proverbs "to spare the rod is to spoil the child". Thier is no better instruction for parents and thier children then Proverbs.

I spank my kids. It works well on my oldest, but not so much on my youngest. Different children require dicipline methods. Spanking may be the only thing that works on a certain child, and if you rules spankings out completely, then you'll have to deal with the issues tour child may have. You ate responsible for raising your child rightly. It is up to you to find out which method is required. Verbal abuse is NEVER acceptible. My gather and mother spanked me regularly, and I needed every one of them. To this day my father is my best friend. I was deer hunting with him back in the Santa Barbara mountains when i was 4 years old. Where he went, so did I. I never backed talked him once. Most of tje spankings I got was for back talking my mother, and giving her hell when my dad was out of town working. If my fafish ther diciplined me without spankings, I'd would have been in extremly poor shape today.

Keep your kids busy. Idle hands are thr devils playground. I was kept so busy growing up with baseball that I didn't have Amy time to het into trouble. Didn't drink or do drugs, and no criminal record to this day. Not only do me and my dad, hunt, shoot, reload, and fish together, I also work for him. We work out of town and my trailer is parked right next to his.

The problem with todays kids is thier parents are so busy chasing down thier careers, that they leave thier children at daycare, or in front of the PS3 as opposed to raising thier children. If the babysitter is the one raising and diciplining your children then you deserve exactly what you get, but the children don't. They deserve thier parents attention and yes thier parents dicipline also. </div></div>

Some good content here. I think it was Jamie Beck (Shooter McGavin) who also posted something very insightful - listen to your kids when they talk to you.

I grew up basically in boarding school which had its pros and cons. But I was very fortunate in having teachers who took the concept of 'in loco parentis' seriously. While I was caned - yeah, good ol' caning - on a near regular basis, the thing that made the difference to me was being listened to and told honestly and with reasons, why I was either wrong or right about what I thought. Discipline is meant to be a learning tool for the kid, not a means of revenge for the parent. Whatever the lesson, the method needs to be effective as both means and ends.

I'm by no means an experienced parent (my boy is 11months), but I'm lucky in that I have an ability to recall a great deal of my life with accuracy and thinking about the times when I was wrong, caught and corrected, I think I'll try first what worked for me and see how that goes...!

 

[motodog]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

there is no way i can agree with what your saying here.i have a 20 year old son that has turned out not to bad as in he dont drink and he dont do drugs.the other day i loaned him our family vehicle to get to work since he had made some poor choices and no longer owns a vehicle.when he returned his 9 month pregnant mother asked where here vehicle was and he responded to her its in the fuckin driveway.my response was to punch him in the face for disrespecting his mother like that.so did i raise him to talk like that to his elders.is that what your saying to me.fuck no i didnt.he was raised properly with good values but ill be dead before he is ever disrespectful to his mom agian. the way these kids are turning out these days really dont reflect how they were brought up.

 

[Intrepid4576]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BALLISTIC</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Speak to them as a friend, and honored guest, and they will learn to treat you with respect. </div></div>

that is 999% truth - we dont spank our kids - we do timeouts - 1min for each year old you are - but talking omg talking - treat them as adults and they shall act as adults

if you were to run around beating the shit out of other adults who didnt listen to you would that be ok? no so why then should it be ok for those who are young and defensless and depend on you for everything - talking works my daughter is proof

 

[Intrepid4576]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

and on the opposite note i do spank my monkey quite often


=D

 

[Foul Mike]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I swatted my kids when they were really bad but never hard enough to bruise them or anything like that.
What I found to work the best was cod liver oil.
When they were making ass I would tell them they were being bad because they had a vitamin deficiency and out came a bottle of cod liver oil.
I would give them a spoonful and make them swallow it and sit down in front of me, waste basket close at hand, and make them sit there for 15-20 minutes before they could go to the bathroom to try and get rid of that taste.
After a couple of times when they started to act up again all I had to say was,"Are you having a vitamin deficiency?" and there was a marked improvement in their behavior.
Buy small bottles and hide them well as they will search for a long time to find it and destroy it.
I always had a new bottle stashed somewhere for the next time.
Regards, FM

 

[PanaDP]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JelloStorm</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Instead I just take away cell phones, Facebook access, video games and give them a book and say "This is all you have now, enjoy it.". </div></div>

Awesome, so now you've taught them that books are punishment.

 

[clmayfield]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Late to the party, but I agree with Seth8541. Spanking is a tool. If you use it all the time for everything, it becomes a very ineffective tool. I spank pretty rarely, but I do spank. After the spanking, I dole out the most important part of the punishment. I make the child look me in the eye and tell me why I spanked them.

That moment when I make them tell me why I spanked them is the critical part. I have doled out one or two spankings in which the child did not know what he did wrong. That is when I know I screwed up.

The vast majority of the time, the kid knows what he did. After that, he needs to apologize to the party he violated and apologize to his mother as well if he hurt his brother (the most common offense).

I don't spank in anger, and generally, I don't raise my voice to my kids. In my mind, raising your voice shows you have lost control of your emotions... the child just won because he has managed to elicit a response (if that is what he is trying to do).

I believe that you can use spanking the wrong way. I think if you used statistics to show it, you would find that, yeah, people who are using spankings the wrong way are doing damage to their child. I have seen a parent spank a child at a restaurant for accidentally spilling a drink. I don't think I am doing harm when I spank my kids. And they need it less and less as they get older.

For those that argue reasoning works, there is only a certain amount of reasoning that gets through to a three year old. One of the things that they can learn through "reasoning" alone is that they can do a lot of things without negative consequences.

As an example, my youngest locked the bathroom door and his mother was unable to get into the bathroom to change his clothes. We gave him a time out and told him that he shouldn't do that again... pointing out all of the problems he caused (I had to come home from work to open the door).

The second time, he did it when he was upset with his mother. Are we supposed to "reason" with him again? Insta-spanking. Apologies. He hasn't done it since.

There might have been other ways to show consequences for his actions, but spanking was the most immediate. At 3, the consequences need to follow pretty quickly or children lose the causality.

 

[Brad601]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Don't have kids yet. Have some nieces and nephews and Ive been known to smoke the dogshit out of them. I got my ass waylaid into with a belt by my dad for bad behavior. (AND I EARNED EVERY SWING) Didn't make me a dumbass. In fact Im 30 and my cheeks still clench every time my old mans hands move to his waist line. It made me a better person. I mean when I was a unruley teenager and my friends wanted to raise hell I always avoided that line of too far. Not that I feared the law I feared my old man. I guess when I have kids Ill use the same approach I use on my troops. Smoke em like a cheap cigar. And you don't want to push thats ok we can visit the woodline rank comes off the coller and your ass is mine. My kids may end up hating my guts but they'll be strong and respectful.

 

[opshin556]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

This guy believes GOD told him to create paddles to spank kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OakGQWFHPg

 

[High Binder]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<span style="font-weight: bold">Does Spanking Children Make Them Predisposed to Aggression?</span>

If you’re a little boy with the right genetic composition and your parent uses spanking as a form of discipline, one study says you are more predisposed toward acts of aggression.

The research out of University of Texas-Dallas, Sam Houston State University and Florida State University that studied children nine months to five years old found that genetics do affect behavior problems and a tendency toward aggression. It also found that these tendencies were exacerbated when these children were spanked for doing wrong, but only in boys.
Study: Spanking as Discipline Increases Aggression in Children Who Already Have a Genetic Predisposition

“We found that genetic factors affect which children display aggressive behavior, but we also found that genetic factors matter more when children were exposed to spanking as a disciplinary tactic,” said criminologist Dr. J.C. Barnes, an assistant professor of criminology in the University of Texas School of Economic, Political and Policy Sciences, in the university’s statement on the research.

“It did not affect females,” he said. “Males who were spanked and had the highest genetic risks displayed the most aggressive behavior compared to other males.”

The researchers classified aggression as tantrums and disruptive behavior.

Barnes believes that this study shows a time period in a child’s life during the early, more formative years when a propensity for aggression could be reduced by limiting spanking as a form of discipline.

“Since we’re tracing back to early childhood, which is a formative time, that suggests interventions could be targeted to that early time point in the life course,” he said. “The targeted intervention may be to reduce spanking across the board.”

From: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/does-spanking-children-make-them-predisposed-to-aggression/

 

[Kells81]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Asswhoopins are what makes the good the good and well the lack of is what makes the rest a bunch of shitheads.... I got my ass whooped all the time for dickin something up and I turned out to be an OK person. My little brother never got whooped and he is a total shithead. This goes for my nephews, they never got the good end of a belt and they are total jackasses..

Everytime I go home my little girl gets it. She may have not messed up yet or she may have screwed up and momma lets it slide so I go ahead and catch her up right there at the baggage claim at DFW.... j/k

I think spanking has a time/place/cause. Most of the time if I just let my little girl see that I am mad it gets the point across and no further action needed.

 

[FALex]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Spanked, punched, belt (she made sure to get the buckle just right), wooden spoon, glass fruit bowl. Sure, those were easy.

When she really wanted to make a point, the S&W Model 39 to the side of the dome was a bit more intimidating I must say.

Oh, don't worry about me. We're just fine...

 

[sardiniagunner]

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I have 2 young boys. One is five and one is three. I spank them when they need it but nearly always give them a choice. I tell them that the behavior in question will result in a spanking and they need to choose weather to obey or get a spanking. I sting them a bit with an open hand when they choose that route and never really hurt them. For my money the spanking is not so much to cause pain but to show them that the parent is in controll.

For what it is worth I went through a period with both boys where there were many spankings but after that relatively short period of learning their boundries they very rarely need them now.

I believe the key is to establish controll early, do what you do out of love never anger, and be consistant.

Last thing, it never hurts to pray often for wisdom in raising your children.