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do You Spank Your Kids

Re: do You Spank Your Kids

i got at least 3 or 4 a week growing up. remember every one my dad gave me. deserved every one of them too. I have two sons and have spanked them probably twice in their life. the first one was over lying to me. hasnt happened since because the oldest one will tell me the truth whether i want to hear it or not. He's in the Marine Corp now, couldnt be a more proud father. youngest son is working full time and a college student. neither have been arrested or take drugs so i assume ive succeeded in raising them right or at least to the best of my ability. My dad was old school but he never was mad when he spanked us. i swear the waiting was punishment enough. he always made good on his word. if he told you you were gonna get a whuppin, it was gonna happen.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I got the crap beat out of me on the way up; a lot more'n I ever needed, I think. My view, I grew up in spite of my parents.

I decided that raising a kid was going to be the most important thing I was ever going to do in my life, and that I was going to look before I lept, far as smacking them around went. I found out that leaping was optional; it was always there on the shelf if it was needed, but it was definitely only for when things called for the big guns, and those times never came.

No doubt, we got lucky and had a uniquely deserving kid. A different one would probably have required a different strategy; but for this one, the plan worked. She just turned 41, and she's neither an angel nor a Rhodes Scholar, but she's definitely a Daughter worth having; and her three kids are doing pretty well too.

Greg
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I don't spank my kid, I wasn't spanked growing up either. I just don't see the purpose I mean the equation would be that:

A bad act = pain

So how does that teach a kid anything other than to bring pain down on somebody else in retaliation to a bad act. Isn't that contrary to being 'grown up' and acting civilized?
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

As a kid, I screwed up. I did things that deserved it, sure. Thing is, my dad was/is a drinker.

And practically every friday night, after the party, he'd tie into me. Thing is, he believed in the buckle end of the belt. Then, when that got boring, I'd get grabbed, thrown, punched, then thrown again. I'd be sleeping in my bed, then all the sudden I'm flying across the room or down the hallway.

In short order he learned to not punch the face so much, because black eyes aren't exactly easy to hide. I remember the questions from my aunt's.

In all this, quite often there'd be broken drywall/gyproc.

It was his opinion, that the repairs of the gyproc walls were then my responsibility. I'd have to pay for the materials, and fix them myself. Over the next few days, I got constantly 'reminded' while I was working on (learning) how to fix walls and such. He'd ask me things like 'you ever gonna do that again?' He honestly believed that it was these repairs that were the punishment, for me to piss him off so much, or cross him/his thoughts so much. The rest was just preamble.

I absolutely dreaded my birthday and Christmas each year. Because that is when I'd be given money from relatives. (my only source of income) All that showed him, was a larger 'window' for him to vent his miserable life on me. All the while, my step-mother would do dishes, housework, or go out and do the gardening.

Hell, I don't care how bad I was, I don't think any kid deserves that kind of treatment.

So yeah, people. Take certain points of this thread into consideration. It's one thing to 'discipline your child' and I can appreciate that. But it's a whole other ballgame to vent your frustration. There's a few here, who really have their head on straight and tight. Those who know the difference.

Which group do you fit into?
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I don't and I won't.... I don't hit my dogs either for the same reason. I don't want them to fear me. I believe there are far too many options other than striking a kid to discipline. I have two boys and one is almost one but my 4 year old can get into some trouble. He is far more devastated when I take his toys away or deprive him of a special treat. He knows if he messes up he loses something for a while.

This method reflects what happens when we are adults. You get in trouble at work you can lose pay, status or your job. Get in trouble with the law and you lose freedom and money. We don't spank adults do we? No, but really if anyone deserves to be spanked it is an adult because they are the ones that know better, kids are still learning.

I think if you subscribe to the act of hitting a kid then you should accept that when you mess up at work your boss gets to spank you and when you get caught by law enforcement they should just spank you for your infraction.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

When I was six or seven we were visiting relatives. I had been playing with the neighbors kids...and I had learned two new words that day. Later I was play-fighting with Dad and decided to regale him with my newly-expanded vocabulary.

"Want me to call you a punk?" I asked. He said "I'll 'punk' you," and we continued play-fighting. OK, that went well, let's try the next one.

"Want me to call you a fucker?"

The subsequent ass-whupping was legendary. I'll be 48 shortly and I remember it as if it was yesterday. He rarely spanked us but when he did A) we deserved it, and B) we remembered it.

That being said, we have no critters but that is going to change in May with twins en-route. If they need a spanking, they'll receive one. But I think I can help them by moving out of town to a more remote site where they'll have plenty of chores to help insulate them from pop-culture. Also it will help instill a work ethic and more a sense of self respect as opposed to self esteem.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

My dad was a spanker, but I earned every one I got. Almost never for the crime, always for lying about it. Same goes for my kids. I give a chance to come clean and negotiate punishment. Lie and get your comeuppance.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I never got what you guys call spankings. I got my ass tore up. I remembered my ass was sore for days. I dont think I ever got a whipping for the same thing twice. I did deserve it. I have a 6 year old daughter who gets an occational spanking but I dont think it has the same result that the ones I got did. I can get in her face and give her a stern talking to and she gets the picture. Ive had to spank her a few times just to remind her that I could. I do think the denial of a toy or a happy meal because she did wrong is much more punishment than the spanking. If she asks for something I will usually tell her she can have it at the end of the day, If shes been good. If she wasnt good and asks for it at the end of the day, we talk about why she cant have it. I think this is a better way to handle it. I am not opposed to getting that ass if the situation deems it necessary.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I recieved numerous spankings as a child from my mom, my dad, and even my step dad. My mom would use an old wood paint stirring stick, they don't make them like that anymore, and only once did I ever get a belt. I never got the beating that some of the other posters received but definitely got a few good whoopin's. I think spanking has its place and I have spanked my kids. I will not do it when I am mad as that is simply lashing out in anger and not something I want to do. My kids have gotten spankings more along the lines of the swat on the rear from about the age of 2 or 3. My oldest turns 18 next week and I haven't had to spank or swat him since he was about 7. I think the simple fact that they know you will do it can be enough to make them consider their actions more than the child that knows he won't face that punishment. For me knowing I could possibly get a good whoopin was often enough to deter me from committing the action that would result in that punishment.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

As a Christian, I get my instructions from the Bible concerning all aspects of life and that includes the raising of children. The Bible does not suggest that we spank--it commands it. Don't ever spank in anger, do it calmly, but with authority. I use it as an opportunity to explain sin and after discipline has taken place we pray.
Just my .02
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dibbs</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I got spanked growing up, and the sound of my father's belt being yanked off his JCpenny work pants will always be with me. ..... stern words only go so damn far. </div></div>

+1
If mom had to tell dad, I knew, when those work boots hit the kitchen floor and I heard the slapping of leather coming through the belt loops of his jean I was in deep trouble. Only happened once and I knew I was in the wrong the sec the words left my mouth directed at my mother (called her some terrible things and have apologized many times over many years for it).

Mom got my 2 or 3 times in life with her skinny belt (little 1/2" belt vs dad's 1.5"belt) and it was enough to correct my actions and instil the importance of the lesson being conveyed
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Sometimes kids just need to be spanked just to keep them in line. My 13yr old brother is a prime example. He's a sneaky shit and needs his ass kicked to remind him of what lies ahead if he screws up.

That and as my grandfather told my father, and as my father has told me. "If you don't understand reason, you'll understand pain."
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Blackops_2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
"If you don't understand reason, you'll understand pain." </div></div>

A great reason why a kid shouldn't be spanked. If they don't understand why it is happening then what are you proving?
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Chilo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Any discipline without love is abuse. Discipline, based in love, for the benefit of the child, is what it takes to make a difference.

The level of discipline to alter bad behavior is going to be different with every individual and every situation. Just like everything else there is no "magic bullet."

I got caught in a lie to my father once. I was about 9. He gave me the opportunity to come clean and I lied again. It was at this point that he told me that he was too angry to discipline me and that when he had cooled down, he would deal with the lies. I've never forgot that conversation. It was the longest 8 hours of my life until he came home that evening. I've never lied to him again. I have come to hate dishonesty as much as he does. I learned more from that incident than not to lie or get caught.

Discipline is about the other person. It is done to help them. It is always for their benefit.

Abuse is selfish. It has nothing to do with helping another. Abuse and discipline don't even belong in the same sentence. They are polar opposites.

Discipline your child, it will make their life so much better.
Never abuse a child...there is no greater display of cowardice.</div></div>

A lot of wisdom in this post.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Here's a good example of how a good christian judge disciplins his daughter.
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I'll bet she respects her father now!
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tunanut</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here's a good example of how a good christian judge disciplins his daughter.
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I'll bet she respects her father now! </div></div>

That guys a dipshit. I expect she fears, and hates him. My guess is that sooner or later shell end up in jail, or a nut house. Some one needs to work HIM over with a 2x4, or lead pipe. Better yet a 1911.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pat M</div><div class="ubbcode-body">No kids,, but i do have a monkey </div></div>

Iss he on your back, Pat?
grin.gif
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

To quote a hunting buddy in high school "i got spanked alot more than i wanted to, but not nearly as much as i should have been" i was on the receiving end of it growing up, and when i have kids they'll get it too. My grandma would come after you too if you got out of line down at her place!
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Not as much as my wife.........wink
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I got spanked very few times as a kid. Last time was in 5th or 6th grade. Probably for lying. But, every time, I knew full well why I was getting what I was, and it was never a beating.

We have a 1 year old boy, and a girl to be here at the end of March. At some point, they'll probably get spanked, and they'll understand why.

For Christmas I actually made 5 or 6 paddles and gave them out to all our friends with new kids. After its used once or twice, it will be more for intimidation, but that will only work if they know I'll use it.

The most important part of my up-bringing was watching my father and how he lived his life. There was no double standard. I could, and can still, look up to him as someone I want to model my life and values after.

Setting an positive example was the best thing he and my mother did while raising me, but early on a quick swat of the hand, belt, or willow branch kept me in line.

Once my kids get older, they'll have all kinds of fun with a push mower and the 4 acre yard when they get in trouble. There's always work to do out here.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: maggot</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tunanut</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Here's a good example of how a good christian judge disciplins his daughter.
<object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KZLNfpMLYIg"></param> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KZLNfpMLYIg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"> </embed></object>

I'll bet she respects her father now! </div></div>

That guys a dipshit. I expect she fears, and hates him. My guess is that sooner or later shell end up in jail, or a nut house. Some one needs to work HIM over with a 2x4, or lead pipe. Better yet a 1911. </div></div>

That father was a judge, who doesn't/didn't deserve respect. That was abuse, which is why she set him up and it actually led to an investigation (not guilty).
I had a few encounters with a leather belt, 3 to be exact, in which I couldn't sit down. Only one was deserved, but the other two weren't out of anger or abuse. That being said, there ares some kids that need corporal discipline as they won't respond to anything else - but as Chilo posted above needs to be out of love not anger.
The Bible says "spare not the rod", but that rod needs to be used judiciously.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Blackops_2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
"If you don't understand reason, you'll understand pain." </div></div>

A great reason why a kid shouldn't be spanked. If they don't understand why it is happening then what are you proving? </div></div>

To each his own but thats now how i see it. It's simply if you wont listen to reason as to why your told to do this or that, then you will get punished. And it works. Sometimes kids don't understand a parents reasoning behind a decision and then they rebel, bitch, etc. well give them a quick spanking or whatever and it will get the point across.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> To each his own but thats now how i see it. It's simply if you wont listen to reason as to why your told to do this or that, then you will get punished. And it works. Sometimes kids don't understand a parents reasoning behind a decision and then they rebel, bitch, etc. well give them a quick spanking or whatever and it will get the point across.</div></div>

With that in mind why stop with kids? As a cop if I come across you stealing something or speeding or breaking any other law should I just whoop your ass? I am being dead serious. Where do we stop? If we do it to "teach" kids a lesson or respect then adults should get it twice as bad since they know better but went a ahead and did it anyways.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> To each his own but thats now how i see it. It's simply if you wont listen to reason as to why your told to do this or that, then you will get punished. And it works. Sometimes kids don't understand a parents reasoning behind a decision and then they rebel, bitch, etc. well give them a quick spanking or whatever and it will get the point across.</div></div>

With that in mind why stop with kids? As a cop if I come across you stealing something or speeding or breaking any other law should I just whoop your ass? I am being dead serious. Where do we stop? If we do it to "teach" kids a lesson or respect then adults should get it twice as bad since they know better but went a ahead and did it anyways. </div></div>

I'm curious as to what planet you live on?
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: boone</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> To each his own but thats now how i see it. It's simply if you wont listen to reason as to why your told to do this or that, then you will get punished. And it works. Sometimes kids don't understand a parents reasoning behind a decision and then they rebel, bitch, etc. well give them a quick spanking or whatever and it will get the point across.</div></div>

With that in mind why stop with kids? As a cop if I come across you stealing something or speeding or breaking any other law should I just whoop your ass? I am being dead serious. Where do we stop? If we do it to "teach" kids a lesson or respect then adults should get it twice as bad since they know better but went a ahead and did it anyways. </div></div>

I'm curious as to what planet you live on? </div></div>

Tell me why my reason is so f'd up? I spent the last 9 years in LE and have come across scores of incidents where kids are spanked as punishment. Our courts are fine with it as long as it does not cause bodily harm/injury to the child. Though I can't think of one instance where these kids turn out ok, they continue to cause problems for their family and the community. It goes deeper than just the spanking, it is piss poor parenting but the spanking takes it to a new level for the kid.

One incident that sticks with me is a lady who would spank their kids and the ex-husband would call and complain. We investigate and legally nothing could be done. Next she used a belt, again we investigate on behalf of children's services and the father... Again nothing. Next she beats the kid with the end of the belt with the metal buckle. Finally the kids are taken away. I recall her telling us why she hit the kid with the buckle end of the belt. She indicated as the kid got older she couldn't spank hard enough so she used a belt but it seemed to not work either so she decided to try the buckle end of the belt.

I am not saying everyone who spanks is going to abuse their kid and this was definitely the extreme but I just don't see it working with the people I deal with. This is all classes of people.

I got my ass beat a few times but I recall the worst punishment was my Dad's punishment which was moving pile of rock and brick around the yard. One time my brother and I were in a fist fight and our punishment was to sit on the couch hugging each other and having to say over and over again, "I love you". That always made me rethink fighting with my brother.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: boone</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> To each his own but thats now how i see it. It's simply if you wont listen to reason as to why your told to do this or that, then you will get punished. And it works. Sometimes kids don't understand a parents reasoning behind a decision and then they rebel, bitch, etc. well give them a quick spanking or whatever and it will get the point across.</div></div>

With that in mind why stop with kids? As a cop if I come across you stealing something or speeding or breaking any other law should I just whoop your ass? I am being dead serious. Where do we stop? If we do it to "teach" kids a lesson or respect then adults should get it twice as bad since they know better but went a ahead and did it anyways. </div></div>

I'm curious as to what planet you live on? </div></div>

Tell me why my reason is so f'd up? I spent the last 9 years in LE and have come across scores of incidents where kids are spanked as punishment. Our courts are fine with it as long as it does not cause bodily harm/injury to the child. Though I can't think of one instance where these kids turn out ok, they continue to cause problems for their family and the community. It goes deeper than just the spanking, it is piss poor parenting but the spanking takes it to a new level for the kid.

One incident that sticks with me is a lady who would spank their kids and the ex-husband would call and complain. We investigate and legally nothing could be done. Next she used a belt, again we investigate on behalf of children's services and the father... Again nothing. Next she beats the kid with the end of the belt with the metal buckle. Finally the kids are taken away. I recall her telling us why she hit the kid with the buckle end of the belt. She indicated as the kid got older she couldn't spank hard enough so she used a belt but it seemed to not work either so she decided to try the buckle end of the belt.

I am not saying everyone who spanks is going to abuse their kid and this was definitely the extreme but I just don't see it working with the people I deal with. This is all classes of people.

I got my ass beat a few times but I recall the worst punishment was my Dad's punishment which was moving pile of rock and brick around the yard. One time my brother and I were in a fist fight and our punishment was to sit on the couch hugging each other and having to say over and over again, "I love you". That always made me rethink fighting with my brother. </div></div>

Excellent reply Cowboy. I can see an OCCASIONAL slap on the butt with the open hand. If that doesnt get their attention, your failing as a parent somewhere else. And Id say your from planet earth.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Cowboy, I understand your reasoning. I cannot say I agree but I do understand. I took several spankings and a few good ass whippings when I was a kid. I did not turn out bad but I also haven't whipped my son but one time and he is now eleven. I will have to say he is a fairly good kid and I am proud of him. We have not had to punish him much in any form.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I was never a bad kid but i was always afraid of my parents (1st born) didn't do much wrong. My brother on the other hand is sneaky as i said before. He lies, doesn't listen and doesn't care. This is where a spanking comes in he needs it and thats a fact. Thats the way i interpret "if you don't understand reason, you'll understand pain" it holds true in his case and in my childhood when i messed up. It wasn't mean in any extreme manner. My dad spanked the hell out of me when i did something wrong and deservedly so.

My parents have gotten older now so they're not exactly up to key on punishing my brother like they did me and they take too much for granted. Think he's such a good kid. It's going to come back and bight them in the ass.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

The problem is that an open hand can be very harmful if the attempted slap to sting is off by 4 inches. Think about it.. you open palm swinging through and catches the child flush and your arm doesn't give... but the child absorbs all that energy.

My parents whipped me, Mom had me pick out a switch; Dad used a "special belt" that hung in the closet. The switch bent and the special belt was actually a very thin piece of leather that did not carry enough energy... All I got was a sting and an understanding that what I did was not going to be tolerated.

I was talking with my Dad about my little one years back and the need for some corrections and he told me the secret of the "special belt". Son, your hand is fairly large and that child is a child; the object is to correct their mind... not punish them physically. Talk about wise advice, it never occurred to me that I never was hit on the bottom with an open hand.

Just my .02 -- The need for my whippings stopped when I was 11 and feeling spry after my recent Karate class and told Dad I could whip him.. he just smiled and tied me in some sort of weird Korean War judo knot... LOL
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

No i would never hit my two girls but i would deck anyone that did !
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Just a thought. As a parent it's our job to teach our children to become good citizens. If we hit our children, they learn to hit. If we sit them down and talk to them and work through the problems, they learn to do that. I can understand how frustrating it is to have a child that is not agree able. It takes time and patience to work with them.

It is very important that they learn respect. Respect for their parents and themselves. Children want to be listen to just like adults want to be listen too. When you as an adult have a problem and nobody gives a shit it makes you mad. Now trying dealing with it when you 5 years old and you don't have impulse control and won't have it until you are 25 years old. Children are different then adults. Also, when I say listen to them it doesn't mean they get their way. It just allows them to be heard and gives them time to cool down.

I have spanked my children, however it was not out of anger. I will say now my children are 4 and 5 3/4, and I don't have a reason to spank them. I take ever situation and use it as a teaching moment. I will say it pisses me off when they do something that they were taught again, but they are learning and I will take the time to teach them again.

Oh BTW I stop hitting my kids when my older one hit the younger one. My wife said "It's not okay to hit" to her and she said okay then it's not okay to hit me. Wow, she was right. Also, she said that she was disciplining my youngest because he wasn't listening to her. I know where she learned that.

 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Was more of an unusual type of punishment person. Stuff like having her come home from school to find her room devoid of everything except for some brand spanking new ugly clothes , ugliest sneakers I could find and a sleeping bag on the floor. Or no door on her bathroom and bedroom because she stormed off and slammed one of them. She's thirty now and still suffers my wraith when she get's shitty with the wife. Her and the geek inlaw had to get the car towed from our driveway last christmas eve because it wouldn't start. Cost them like 400 bucks and no car for a few days to find out the fuel plug connector was unplugged with a note saying "the next time you get shitty with your mother in law it will cost a lot more" taped to it.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: boone</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cowboy_bravo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> To each his own but thats now how i see it. It's simply if you wont listen to reason as to why your told to do this or that, then you will get punished. And it works. Sometimes kids don't understand a parents reasoning behind a decision and then they rebel, bitch, etc. well give them a quick spanking or whatever and it will get the point across.</div></div>

With that in mind why stop with kids? As a cop if I come across you stealing something or speeding or breaking any other law should I just whoop your ass? I am being dead serious. Where do we stop? If we do it to "teach" kids a lesson or respect then adults should get it twice as bad since they know better but went a ahead and did it anyways. </div></div>

I'm curious as to what planet you live on? </div></div>

Tell me why my reason is so f'd up? I spent the last 9 years in LE and have come across scores of incidents where kids are spanked as punishment. Our courts are fine with it as long as it does not cause bodily harm/injury to the child. Though I can't think of one instance where these kids turn out ok, they continue to cause problems for their family and the community. It goes deeper than just the spanking, <span style="color: #FF0000">it is piss poor parenting</span> but the spanking takes it to a new level for the kid.
<span style="color: #FF0000">Spanking has nothing to do with the problem. Your inserting your own emotion into it. I get it you don't like seeing children disciplined in that manner. More often than not Parents are spanking out of frustration or anger. The exact same reason that adults punch each other in the face. Some parents do not put the time and energy into their children therefore rely on force to control them. While I spank my children I never do so out of anger. In fact really all I have to do is give my son a "look" and tell him he's going to get spanked. My daughter 95% of time only has to be told to stop. See both my kids react differently.</span>


One incident that sticks with me is a lady who would spank their kids and the ex-husband would call and complain. We investigate and legally nothing could be done. Next she used a belt, again we investigate on behalf of children's services and the father... Again nothing. Next she beats the kid with the end of the belt with the metal buckle. Finally the kids are taken away. I recall her telling us why she hit the kid with the buckle end of the belt. She indicated as the kid got older she couldn't spank hard enough so she used a belt but it seemed to not work either so she decided to try the buckle end of the belt. <span style="color: #FF0000">Abuse is Abuse again your inserting your emotions into the debate here.</span>

I am not saying everyone who spanks is going to abuse their kid and this was definitely the extreme but I just don't see it working with the people I deal with. This is all classes of people. <span style="color: #FF0000">It might be all classes of people but I bet they don't put the time and energy into their children. Money doesn't change anything. Take it away and its the same loser of a person.</span>
I got my ass beat a few times but I recall the worst punishment was my Dad's punishment which was moving pile of rock and brick around the yard. One time my brother and I were in a fist fight and our punishment was to sit on the couch hugging each other and having to say over and over again, "I love you". That always made me rethink fighting with my brother. </div></div>

If your kids don't run to you screaming Daddy when you walk in from work.....

Your doing it wrong.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: boone</div><div class="ubbcode-body">



If your kids don't run to you screaming Daddy when you walk in from work.....

Your doing it wrong. </div></div>

And that right there, dear brothers and sisters, should be the end of the discussion.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

big screw ups require big punishment.trick is to prevent big screw ups. one of my main goals is to prevent my kid from becoming a whiney crybaby. i work with some "not all" 30-60 yr old dudes that act like some sniveling whiney bitches, if i can prevent that, i will be satisfied.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: StanwoodSpartan</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I wonder what Maser's parents did to him to fuck him up so bad?? </div></div>

Just had to go there didn't you
laugh.gif
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VA Gentleman</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> The need for my whippings stopped when I was 11 and feeling spry after my recent Karate class and told Dad I could whip him.. he just smiled and tied me in some sort of weird Korean War judo knot... LOL</div></div>

Dad always tells me..."Even on my worse day, i could beat your ass." LOL thing is he is sort of right. That man has an amount of strength earned over his lifetime from hard hard work, that i don't think i could match. Point being he has a lot of natural strength. His dad was 78 before he died, and we were talking one day and he said that even at 70+ his father was stronger than him and there was no doubt in his mind.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Never crossed my mind with my daughter. She turned nine last month. She also happens to be my best friend. Here she is stalking frogs and turtles.

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Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Corporal Punishment is enforced in my household. My oldest son who's going to be 6 in April has only had to be spanked once in his entire life so far and he knows that it will happen again if he's defiant. My youngest is only 1 and doesn't do anything that would warrant a spanking. Any parent will agree with me that as a parent you NEED to be a parent before a friend. Our main goal as parents is to raise our kids into responsible and productive citizens in society. However, as a parent you ALSO have to know your kid's individual personalities. Spanking should NOT be the first option of punishment because not all kids respond well to a spanking. Eg. they just blow it off and continue to act bad. I mentioned above how my oldest was only spanked once, but that wasn't the first option we tried. Just because he's only been spanked once, does NOT mean he's a perfect little angel. However, spankings don't need to happen anymore because all that's needed from me or my wife is to simply tell him in a strong voice not to do what he did again and he complies.

The main issue with kids is there's no universal knowledge to being a parent. Sure, there's books and webpages out there, but have you noticed that a majority of those authors have NO kids of their own?! Even though my oldest son was born when I was 16, technically I consider myself a parent since I was 12 because I pretty much raised my little brother as a son while our parents were working all the time. So yeah, I may not be the smartest guy, but I certainly know my fair share about parenting.

Wanda Sykes once did a routine where she says that kids ruin your life, but they give you a new and better one in the process. I agree with that logic 100%. My oldest son totally destroyed my life as a teenager, but the life he gave me in return more than makes up for it.

I really grow tired of uptight yuppies out there who say that spanking is child abuse. Seriously?! Are you off your fucking meds or something? Corporal Punishment and child abuse have NEVER been the same thing. Let me give an example of my life growing up. I received spankings with a belt from my dad as punishment for things. I didn't consider that abuse at all because even though at the time I didn't feel I deserved it, nowadays looking back I can honestly say I deserved each one of them. HOWEVER, I did receive verbal abuse by both of my parents. I was told by my dad how stupid and worthless I was and mom would tell me that I was an accident and she wished she had aborted me. Even to this day it still hurts to think about it. The belt spankings were just a temporary pain that I deserved, but the verbal abuse was something no kid deserves especially when they do nothing wrong. I do thank my parents for that verbal abuse though because it taught me how NOT to treat my own kids.

I could keep going on, but I'm getting bored now. Bottom line is don't allow your kids to run your lives. If it requires a spanking to get your message across to them, then so be it. That makes you a successful parent in my eyes because you are proving that you are being a parent before a friend.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

On South Park they called in the Dog Whisperer. Might be worth checking into for someone with uncontrollable kids.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids


Inflicting pain on another by physical force is violence.

Violence is wrong.

Parent's egos tells us its discipline.

Many are confused; the bible also says to kill the son who curses his Father, but also to "...not provoke your children, nor nag".

Jesus preached non-violence.

I've been and public defender, juvenile delinquent defender, and have represented numerous parties in custody cases. Also, I'm one of eight children and have a 15 year old daughter. My experience has been corporal punishment does not work. Instead, cop oral punishment aggravates the already chaotic situation. Corporal punishment teaches violence - that we should try using violence to get cooperation, and although it doesn't work, corporal punishment is indeed acceptable conduct.

Whether positive or negative, love, hate or indifference, w receive the same energy as we project. Achieving cooperation by praise and love is more intelligent than pretended cooperation achieved by force or fear. Fear-based discipline works only while the punisher is present. Anger is an emotion resulting from feelings of not being loved. Lying is learned. It is learned from those who are modeling behavior; parents, teachers - adults.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

I was spanked as a child, and I am 26 now. I am not religious, and I hold no qualms against those who are, but beating someone WILL NEVER allow them to respect you, or what you are trying to teach them. I am not a yuppie, nor a pacifist, but I believe, especially with those whom you contend as your Ultimate, that you should make real your feelings through words, and not anger and violence, what you are trying to convey to them, so they may fully understand. Children are smarter, and more open minded than any other age group, you do not need to beat them for them to respect you. Speak to them as a friend, and honored guest, and they will learn to treat you with respect.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BALLISTIC</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I was spanked as a child, and I am 26 now. I am not religious, and I hold no qualms against those who are, but beating someone WILL NEVER allow them to respect you, or what you are trying to teach them. I am not a yuppie, nor a pacifist, but I believe, especially with those whom you contend as your Ultimate, that you should make real your feelings through words, and not anger and violence, what you are trying to convey to them, so they may fully understand. Children are smarter, and more open minded than any other age group, you do not need to beat them for them to respect you. Speak to them as a friend, and honored guest, and they will learn to treat you with respect. </div></div>

+1 and 'time-outs' work just as well. Spanking is therapy for the parent not the child.
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Big difference between spanking and beating.
A spanking doesn't physically injure the child.

I always sent my kids to their room and waited to give myself time to reason thru the situation and to calm down..When I was ready we had a little talk and then they got a swat or two on the butt. Hardly physical pain (In fact we often played much harder), but the fact that they were being disciplined for whatever action was taken to heart by both sides I always considered it essential follow thru.
Afterward I always told them how much I loved them and we always talked or even played afterward.

You are a father first and a friend second and there can be no doubt in your child's mind what you are.

My boy is now 15 and 6-6` 190 pounds....I would hate to have an unreasonable kid at his size...Haven`t needed to spank him since he was 6 or 7 years old (same with my girl). Not the smartest guy but works hard to get his A`s and B`s. He is a born sheepdog and ferocious keeper of his friends.

What more could a father ask for...
Same goes for my daughter....Except she is bloody brilliant!
Go Figure
 
Re: do You Spank Your Kids

Spanking works for little kids, ie under five. From five to seven, hands on the wall, feet three feet apart three feet from the wall works well as a time out( five to fifteen minutes per infraction). Makes leg, arm, and back muscles strong. After seven, pushj-ups, bends and motherfuckers, jumping jacks, mountain climbers and such work well until about 13 - 15. After that, the behave pretty well. IF however, a fifteen year old decides to square off with dad, well some things just aren't spoken about these days. Needless to say, it hasn't happend since, and the words,"Consider my size, and experience when you raise your fists toward me boy" were used most sternly. The look seemed to go from a fierce anger to one of true understanding rather quickly. A call from No1 to No2 was also made and some explanation about something about knocking glasses askew and stuff from ten years or so back were mentioned...yes, we all learn as Dad's. Some things just aren't good for anyone. but by the end of that particular brotherly conversation, respect was found in the eyes of one fifteen year old boy that evening.
Since No1 has left, we find that positive reinforcement works most of the time, and pretty well. Those other times, well,"Consider my size and expereince boy. You really want to man up and go there?" Still works, and when quietly spoken holds a certain impact. Hope I don't get an ass whoopin in tgeh next few years wehn the little fucker is bigger than me
wink.gif
 
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