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Maggie’s Simple home remedies that work!!

spartan67

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Dec 24, 2009
995
2,777
central ny
SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES THAT WORK!!

1. To avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, get someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. To avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat-use the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. [remember to use a timer.]
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives - you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem
 
Learned this trick from my buddy who is a Mil sniper and has to wear a ghillie a lot. To alleviate rashes on the balls, wipe the inside of the crotch area of your underwear with BenGay. It will keep them nice and chilly. It helps fight dehydration as well. (This one actually works)
 
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eat a cup of blueberries every day.
no only do you get the benefit of the vitamins & antioxidants,
they also contain a compound that helps to decrease the incident of premature ejaculation.
 
use vise-grips to stop bleeding of severed finger

dirt & sand for clotting wounds

to avoid cuts when chopping wood use a wiffel-ball bat, it will take longer but no cuts
 
I know a lot of you are throwing specious shit out there to be funny but here is something that I recently found to work; I am not making this up.

After the Panama invasion where my feet stayed wet the whole time I was there it seems like, I ended up with a case of toe nail fungus that I've tried to treat even with prescription meds to no avail for years. So I'm doing my annual physical and a nurse practitioner asks me about my toes and I tell her that I still have the evil toe nail issue. She said to try Vicks Vapor rub as it should clear it up and or help. My first though was "yeah right" that shit ain't gonna work. I figured what the hell, I'll give it a try and see what happens. So I apply the Vicks and to my surprise, after 1 day of having put it on, the nails are looking better and the shit under my nails is starting to die. I've been doing it for several days now and it is continuing to work to my surprise. Who would have thought Vicks would work better than perscription meds and work so quickly.
 
I know a lot of you are throwing specious shit out there to be funny but here is something that I recently found to work; I am not making this up.

After the Panama invasion where my feet stayed wet the whole time I was there it seems like, I ended up with a case of toe nail fungus that I've tried to treat even with prescription meds to no avail for years. So I'm doing my annual physical and a nurse practitioner asks me about my toes and I tell her that I still have the evil toe nail issue. She said to try Vicks Vapor rub as it should clear it up and or help. My first though was "yeah right" that shit ain't gonna work. I figured what the hell, I'll give it a try and see what happens. So I apply the Vicks and to my surprise, after 1 day of having put it on, the nails are looking better and the shit under my nails is starting to die. I've been doing it for several days now and it is continuing to work to my surprise. Who would have thought Vicks would work better than perscription meds and work so quickly.

What kind of foot medication do you take for a stuffy nose?
;)
 
Words that I learned to live by:

Don't get bloody, cut towards your buddy.
 
About the Vicks, If you are into horse competition, rub some on your stallions upper lip. He won't be able to smell the females,and be distracted.
Do the same thing to your rabbit to avoid breeding.
Same thing for the rabbit with a new family. She won't be able to smell baby rabbits from another brood, and will adopt them.
Use it on your own lip to avoid... well, just do it.
 
About the Vicks, If you are into horse competition, rub some on your stallions upper lip. He won't be able to smell the females,and be distracted.
Do the same thing to your rabbit to avoid breeding.
Same thing for the rabbit with a new family. She won't be able to smell baby rabbits from another brood, and will adopt them.
Use it on your own lip to avoid... well, just do it.

Rub it under your nose when changing a stinky diaper or doing some other foul smelling chore.
 
Put some vaporub under your eyes like and see how well you can keep your eyes on your target. If you can shoot through that shit ,you can shoot through anything. We used to do that as kids and play wiffle ball.
 
For the toe fungus thing, before turning the water on in the shower wash your feet 2 or 3 times a week with an old toothbrush and Tilex mold remover. I had fungus on all my toes. It got rid of that as well as athletes foot.
 
Put some vaporub under your eyes like and see how well you can keep your eyes on your target. If you can shoot through that shit ,you can shoot through anything. We used to do that as kids and play wiffle ball.

??? bored :) , try that playing frisbee
 
One gallon of White Vinegar, 1/2 cup of salt and a few good squirts of dawn dish liquid all mixed together real good makes a great cheap weed killer. I have weeds that have been dead now for 3 weeks.... Cost me a whole 3 bucks for a gallon of weed killer.....
 
Good alternative if you can't get the real weed killer but $3 a gallon is a lot. 2.5 gallons of generic glyphosphate is about $50 or less and makes a little more than 50 gallons. Even non-generic labeled Roundup Pro mixes out at about $2 a gallon.
 
wearing an affliction shirt or a visor turned upside down and cocked to a side is 100% effective in preventing you from getting STD's from chicks
 
Instant potato makes a great clotting agent for severe bleeding. Before all the good stuff came out on the market I kept a ziplock bag of it in the shop and in the first aid kit, only used it once on a nasty cut and it worked great with an easy wound irrigation after.
 
If a woman has a shirt with writing on it, you can stare at her boobs as long as you want, when she looks at you or says something tell her "I'm a slow reader". Sometimes you can even get away with fondling to "straighten" out the words....
 
I will chime in. Being a diver, I have been hit by jellyfish. First time, a local told me to use regular Colgate toothpaste(not the gel stuff). I looked at him like he was crazy, but I was an Ohio country boy and gave him the benefit. I was back in the water in no time. Never again worry about someone pissing on your head! Carry toothpaste!
 
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Guy at college got the crabs, was afraid the college would rat him out to his parents. Tried Absorbine JR on his crotch, you could hear him moaning in the shower way down the hall......
 
Good alternative if you can't get the real weed killer but $3 a gallon is a lot. 2.5 gallons of generic glyphosphate is about $50 or less and makes a little more than 50 gallons. Even non-generic labeled Roundup Pro mixes out at about $2 a gallon.

Yup. LOL @ all of the Facebook recipes I see everyday for using white vinegar for this or that.

FarmWorks™ 41% Glyphosate Plus Concentrate with Surfactant Grass and Weed Killer, 2-1/2 gal. - Tractor Supply Online Store
 
Guy at college got the crabs, was afraid the college would rat him out to his parents. Tried Absorbine JR on his crotch, you could hear him moaning in the shower way down the hall......

"Crabs" are a type of lice...hit-em with a can of Raid.
burns a bit but kills them dead.
 
Something funny I saw here or another forum. Some guy posted about his 'bug out bag' or whatever he called it. He had a ton of tampons in there and said it was for use as improvised bandaging. Someone asked him why he didn't just pack bandaging.

Having bandaging isn't really the issue. Getting bandaging and or packing a penetrating wound with gauze while blood is flowing out can be difficult. Something as simple as a tampon with it's plastic applicator makes inserting and getting the cotton down deep into the wound a lot easier and faster than the old method of wadding and packing a wound. With that said, a really neat and "why didn't I think of that" product that is being looked at is called X Stat and it uses an applicator, like a tampon, to insert the material which itself is in a clever form factor. The website is revmedx| medical products| wilsonville
 
I know a lot of you are throwing specious shit out there to be funny but here is something that I recently found to work; I am not making this up.

After the Panama invasion where my feet stayed wet the whole time I was there it seems like, I ended up with a case of toe nail fungus that I've tried to treat even with prescription meds to no avail for years. So I'm doing my annual physical and a nurse practitioner asks me about my toes and I tell her that I still have the evil toe nail issue. She said to try Vicks Vapor rub as it should clear it up and or help. My first though was "yeah right" that shit ain't gonna work. I figured what the hell, I'll give it a try and see what happens. So I apply the Vicks and to my surprise, after 1 day of having put it on, the nails are looking better and the shit under my nails is starting to die. I've been doing it for several days now and it is continuing to work to my surprise. Who would have thought Vicks would work better than perscription meds and work so quickly.

I've been trying this for the last few days after reading this suggestion, and so far seems to be working. If it gets rid of it, I'll be forever grateful for your sage advice. This crap has been on my toe for the better part of a decade and nothing has worked so far, even the prescription meds.
 
A mouth wash (gargle) using 3%- 10% hydrogen peroxide (the kind found in most drug stores in a brown bottle -- not the 'industrial/ food grade 35% concentrate) makes a great and almost one day cure for cold sores/ canker sores...

Green rubbing alcohol applied as a topical provides almost instant relief from 'mosquito bite' and light poison ivy itch...

Cancer cures smoking...
 
So what are them baggy's with water and pennies in them suppossed to accomplish over a door way?

I think its a FRUGALITY / CHEAPSKATE detector.

When they try to pinch a penny the bust the bag and end up all wet...
 
Tampons work great for bullet holes and even come in different sizes for different caliber wounds. No joke
Aloe plants are great for burns, bites and sunburn ,Wife has a bunch of them they grow inside with almost no care and multiply like crazy. Just found out Aloe works great on shingles (the rash kind)
 
Banana Peels cure poison ivy rash. No joke my neighbor told me that once and after a day of mushroom hunting on the river I had it from head to toe. So after showering and finally remembering what he said I tried it. I peeled a banana and rubbed the inside of it on the effected areas and it burned for about 10 seconds and then quit itching. The next morning I got up and it was all but gone. A second dose on the remaining area and it was soon gone as well.
 
Leeches. I hate em.
lit cigarette or liquid insect repellant. makes them drop right off.
OK, so everyone knows that. However, don't try to pull them off, as that squeezes the parasites they carry back into the wound (liver flukes in the tropics).
OK, so when I was in VN we set up on a fire base after walking in from the bush and relieving the other team that was there. As we were dropping our stuff, checking for leeches, and setting up for a night inside the wire, I hear the FO RTO calling for me.
"Doc, Doc, help."
I went over to his bunker, where he was standing with his pants down, holding his scrotum up, with 5 or 6 huge leeches handing like swollen bike inner tubes all over his sac.
The CO, the FO, and the other RTO's were all grinning at him, and wondering what I was going to do for him. I wondered that myself.
I reached over to the CO, and took his cigarette. The RTO backed away, "No, not that !"
"Ok, so what you want me to do?"
"Use the bug juice, the bug juice!"
"Uhhhh, I'm not so sure you want me to do that bro..."
"DO IT MAN! Get these nasty things off of me!"
So, I took a proffered bottle of jungle juice, and gave it a judicious squeeze.
The leeches dropped off immediately.
He stood there for about 3 seconds and then his face began to change...
He screamed. For 30 minutes. He washed himself over and over again, but he wasn't very happy.

So, yeah, probably insect repellant is ok on anything but not leeches on your scrotum...
 
Tampons work great for bullet holes and even come in different sizes for different caliber wounds. No joke
Aloe plants are great for burns, bites and sunburn ,Wife has a bunch of them they grow inside with almost no care and multiply like crazy. Just found out Aloe works great on shingles (the rash kind)

Tampons also work great for drying out refrigerant lines when changing AC units.
pop one in the low press line & hit the system on the liquid line with dry nitrogen.
Works like a champ but the chick at CVS looks at us kind of funny when a couple of burly guys go in for a box.
 
"Crabs" are a type of lice...hit-em with a can of Raid.
burns a bit but kills them dead.

I'm not sure its wise to hit your junk with a shot of anything called "...icide" ie: "death"

wake me up when the nightmare is gone..(2016 I hope)
 
Torqueing a nut:

Tighten until it strips.
Back off half a turn.
 
This one is very serious. Having 2 girls I have had to deal with Lice and it is no joke! It probably was one of the worst times as a parent I have ever had. My youngest daughter has long hair and had it much worse than her older sister and she was traumatized from the experience of the washing, combing, picking several times a day for 3 months. We did laundry 2 or 3 times a day and vacuumed all the furniture several times a day and took all the dolls and stuffed animals away for a month after it was gone. It was hell to say the least, especially for my kids.

As far as the cure (aside from very diligent cleaning and keeping the girls hair greased and braded up at school) nothing killed the eggs and live lice except Clear Lice. We tried every over the counter product with NO results and also tried 2 different prescription meds to no avail. I also tried Tea Tree oil and it did nothing. I read about the Clear Lice on the internet and thought damn that is expensive when RID and the others are a fraction of the price. Having never dealt with it before I didn't know the difference and thought the info on the WWW about the Clear lice was just marketing hype. I finally ordered some and followed the directions exactly and it quickly killed the eggs and live lice easily. I bought the biggest package they offered to include the upholstery spray and laundry treatment.

I am not affiliated to the company in any way. I just want to pass this along as it truly does work.
 
To dog pile on the white vinegar thing; I used to rebuild dive gear for a local shop when I was in Hawaii. White vinegar, a little palmolive dish soap and some water in an ultrasonic cleaner will do an amazing job on chrome and brass.
 
If you ever snap a tap off in non-ferrous metal, mix 1/10 white vinegar/water, heat to just below boiling, saturate with powdered Alum and soak the part until the tap falls out (few hours to a day depending on tap size). You can get Alum from your spice rack or at the grocery store. Do not try with any ferrous metal, it will eat the part as well as the tap. However if you part is stainless steel, 25% nitric acid will eat the tap but not the part. Be sure to clean all oils and cutting fluids from the part/tap in either case.
 
This one is very serious. Having 2 girls I have had to deal with Lice and it is no joke! It probably was one of the worst times as a parent I have ever had. My youngest daughter has long hair and had it much worse than her older sister and she was traumatized from the experience of the washing, combing, picking several times a day for 3 months. We did laundry 2 or 3 times a day and vacuumed all the furniture several times a day and took all the dolls and stuffed animals away for a month after it was gone. It was hell to say the least, especially for my kids.

As far as the cure (aside from very diligent cleaning and keeping the girls hair greased and braded up at school) nothing killed the eggs and live lice except Clear Lice. We tried every over the counter product with NO results and also tried 2 different prescription meds to no avail. I also tried Tea Tree oil and it did nothing. I read about the Clear Lice on the internet and thought damn that is expensive when RID and the others are a fraction of the price. Having never dealt with it before I didn't know the difference and thought the info on the WWW about the Clear lice was just marketing hype. I finally ordered some and followed the directions exactly and it quickly killed the eggs and live lice easily. I bought the biggest package they offered to include the upholstery spray and laundry treatment.

I am not affiliated to the company in any way. I just want to pass this along as it truly does work.

Apparently mayonnaise kills lice as well. When my girlfriend was a kid she had lice, her and her family tried everything to get rid of the lice. None of the conventional methods worked. She finally got rid of them by putting mayonnaise in her hair every night before she went to bed, with a shower cap placed over top of the hair and mayonnaise (prevent it from being too messy!). Needless to say she doesn't eat mayonnaise anymore...
 
Here is a home remedy that I have used twice now for burns that really works!

*warning - if you have a serious burn, go to a doctor/hospital. I am not a licensed health professional by any means, and this is not to be taken as professional advice. I have found that this has worked for minor burns.

One time while cooking steaks with a hot cast iron pan (500*F), I touched the handle of the cast iron pan with my bare hand without thinking. I immediately felt the burning sensation and pulled my hand away, but by that time it was too late. By the time I finished dinner (about 20 minutes later), the pain in my hand was getting unbearable. It was getting late at night, and there was no way I was going to be able to sleep with the throbbing pain.

I prepared a bucket with cold water, which provided instant relief from the pain, but as soon as I took my hand out of the bucket of water it would feel as if it was on fire again. There was no way I was going to sleep with my hand in a bucket of water, so I decided to search up some home remedies on the 'ol google box. I was willing to try everything to get the pain to stop, and I went through a bunch of home remedies with no success. Then, I found a mention of a trick listed in a Time magazine article from the Vietnam war.

The article stated that doctors were using aluminum foil to treat burn patients over in Vietnam. The burns would be completely covered in the foil, and kept on the wounds for short period of time. I was very skeptical, but desperate, so I wrapped my hand in aluminum foil, and kept in place for 30 minutes. I took the foil off after 30 minutes and to my surprised it worked! There was literally no more pain from my burn! And the hand healed up fine. I have since used this trick 1 more time, and I've had a friend who's used this trick with success as well. Unbelievable I know, but it works.

For you lazy bastards that don't want to read:

Wrap your burn(s) in tin/aluminum foil, completely covering the burn. Keep the foil in place for 20-30 minutes. Take foil off and viola, burn pain gone!
 
Some of these are hilarious!
You'd have to be one tough MF, or extremely desperate to spray your package with raid, to get to that point, you'd think it'd already be scratched raw. Fuck.
 
Apparently mayonnaise kills lice as well. When my girlfriend was a kid she had lice, her and her family tried everything to get rid of the lice. None of the conventional methods worked. She finally got rid of them by putting mayonnaise in her hair every night before she went to bed, with a shower cap placed over top of the hair and mayonnaise (prevent it from being too messy!). Needless to say she doesn't eat mayonnaise anymore...

We tried it for several days and nothing... Also used olive oil (someone else told us about that), nothing...
 
than you better overnight the "clear lice" stuff.....................

how do you get the blue off chrome motorcycle pipes?